Life

Surely, I have a certain progress but it is too hard to make the progress. This is life. 

Carrot

When I ate fried rice at my favorite Chinese restaurant, I noticed that the carrots were very soft and had a nice texture. When I thought about the reason why it was good, I concluded that it was because it was cooked at a high temperature for a moment. When I think back on it, I realized that the carrots at the Chinese restaurant were soft.

Physically tired

No matter how much I sleep, I cannot relieve my tiredness. My body feels heavy all the time.

Breaking

My washing machine drainage became bad. 

I tried washing several parts to fix it, and a lot of dirt was removed but it did not work.

And, my hands are ruined from cleaning.

New trial

Everything is changing, but what I enjoy studying does not change. Now I have a new interest, and I am trying to start it. I knew any trial would not be easy, but I wanted to enjoy it. 

Very sleepy

Very sleepy. My work has not ended. But, I feel happy. There are a lot of mysteries in the world, and they will make me happier. 

Sleepy

 Very sleepy. My work has not ended. 

Time

One of my favorite movies is Tokikake, but it was released in 2006, so even if I talk to current students about it, they won't understand because they haven't seen it in realtime. It's scary.

Bragging

Some people just brag. We can see everything about them because they want to show much of themselves. After we have seen everything, there will be no more content and that's where they lose interest. 

Too many people do not understand this mechanism. Humans are not naturally interested in other people. Maybe, being humble does not mean making ourselves smaller, it means not showing our bottom. I was tired of people bragging, so I realized this. 

Mikan peel

My heart is tired, and I quickly run away to something easier. I have no way out, but I'm not motivated anymore. I want to enjoy sleeping or walking around for a while, but I must finish my work now. Because I feel that smell of mikan peel makes me wake up, I try to write codes I need with the peel. 

Ramen at midnight

At midnight, I ate two bowls of ramen with friends. Those testes of the ramen were very delicious and I enjoyed a great time. Both the bowls of the ramen included a lot of backfat and rich Tonkotsu soup. The tastes were rich, and the flavors were also good but one had a unique pork bone smell strongly. Anyway, it was a great experience. 

But, the next day, I realized two bowls were too heavy for me. Those were like a time bomb. 

Difficult to keep working hard

I still need to work hard but it is very challenging because many people who disturb me appear. So, I need a power that kills the disturbed and keeps me. Maybe the power is not violence because it does not make good results. Maybe the power would be indifference. 

Night

The day passes quickly. Every night comes soon. 

I found a restaurant in Shibuya that serves delicious miso ramen. It smelled like a high-quality cognac and was wonderful. Of course, there would be no alcohol in it. I think I'll go there when I work at night. Night comes soon. 

Coffee 907g ended in 3 weeks

I bought a 907g pack of coffee beans at Costco and the pack ended in 3 weeks. 3-week has 21 days and I consumed about 43g every day. Since I brew 5,6 cups of coffee from 43g coffee beans and I have two coffee breaks in a day, that means I drink 3 cups of coffee. The number of cups matches my feelings. Maybe I have too much drink coffee. 

Hungry

It's not all bad. I should pile small results up now. In recent weeks, my progress has not been going well. However, if I rearrange my small results, I must get a good result. I believe that and try to do this although I am really tired. 

Quit my favorite game

My morning routine is important, and it has changed in recent days because of the change in my life. When my phone had gone a few weeks ago, I stopped playing games in my morning routine. Then, my free time became longer than before, and I had no stress about not touching. An accident makes a change. This change may affect my life better. 

Unexpectedly friend appeared

I have forgotten to update this blog for two days. 

A few days ago, I went to a favorite izakaya. I expected that no people would appear at the time because it was heavy rain and not to eat, but really unexpectedly, a friend seated and drank a glass of sake. I was surprised. 

I have a strange connection with him.

This night

Many foreigners wore costumes around my office. I believed the people who wore costumes were only Japanese, but there were also many foreigners. 

Reading Reading Reading

I needed to read some papers to study my topic, but I did not read them until now, so I read them suddenly. It was a very tough job.

Pie

I had never heard the words "Savory pie" until today.  

Because I have little English vocabulary, I am trying to improve my skills, which means studying a little. Today, I used the word "pie" to indicate a dessert, but a friend did not understand which sweet or salty pie it was. I knew meat pie but I did not recognize meat pie as "pie" because it was not sweet, and so I did not understand why the friend asked me which sweet or salty is. Then, another friend taught me the words "Savory pie" which indicates any salty pie. So, I was surprised that pie indicates the texture but not any taste type. That was very interesting. 

VR

I've heard that thanks to VR avatars, people are now able to interact with people without having to worry about their innate or acquired appearance or functions, and I feel like that's true. So, humanity becomes more important than appearance in the VR era. 

Option

I was surprised that, while I lost many friends' addresses, no one had sent me a message about a lost connection, but the view count of this blog increased. That means many people enjoy this diary of an unknown person. I believe I got one when I lost another. In this case, I lost many friends list, but I knew other people connected with me. 

Walk

A few days ago, I walked 20km at midnight. I saw a few people sleeping on the road. I realized it had become a good season. I could not imagine sleeping outside in summer because it was too hot. Now, it was perfect to sleep. It is in good condition. 

New phone

Since my ex-phone was broken, I bought a new one. All account was initialized and I lost some friends' connections. If my friends who connected with only LINE or FB watch this blog, please send an email to nitomaina@gmail.com, this address is a managing address. 

Cannot access all data

Since my phone was broken, I cannot access the data on the phone. And, some connections with friends were lost because I did not save some accounts, such as Line, x, games, etc. I believe God said to me "You should concentrate on fewer things than now" and gave me a chance to make new better connections. 

Completely broken

My phone was completely broken now. 

My phone

Suddenly, my phone did not respond to any touches. Since I had no idea why. And, I was not sure which hardware or software had problems. 

Since I could not use it, I just gave it a break for more than 1 hour. Then, it reacted touches. But, the responses did not smooth, but it was possible to control. Actually, the display and touch panel on the phone were broken and had a lot of cracks. So, the hardware might have a problem with the touch response. Simultaneously, the software might have a problem since it reacted after a break. 

In any case, it was gone. I need a new one. 

Taxi

From early morning to midnight yesterday, I had no free time. I was exhausted, so I slept on a train that I was supposed to take back and the train returned to the opposite side. I woke up after the last train finished and I had to go back by taxi. The taxi fee was very expensive but there was another way. Very sad. 

A break

Yesterday, I did not write this diary because there are too many jobs. 

Recently, I have used nanobind to connect C++ and Python. Still, I did not know how to return multiple values from C++ functions to Python and I separated an optimal function into some tiny functions, which is not efficient. Yesterday, I really needed to implement multiple values returned from a function, and I read the nanobind document again. Then, I knew to use "tuple." It can be prepared with make_tuple in C++ and it can be received by Python. By using it, efficient coding was enabled. 

Voice

I was really surprised by a friend's voice when he sang a song. I knew voice was an important component of shows at the time. And, I really think to practice my good voice. It makes something move at an important timing. 

Known

When something benefits people, they praise it. When something is interesting for people, they scold. So, people have implicit logic. If you only think that this is directly connected to people's emotions, you may see that humans are creatures of emotion, but in reality, I believe that we are all narcissistic people who consider our own morals to be just. 

Therefore, being around people who only praise all will not accomplish anything and will often just be a waste of time.

Nice members

I feel lucky because I have such great friends. They support me when I face problems. 

Recently, I talked about various things with a foreign friend. I was able to learn a lot about Hong Kong. I won't write anything specific, but I realized that there are many things I don't know. I believe that "knowledge of ignorance" comes from good friends.

Driving

I had been in a villa with friends for two days. To get there, I drove about 200 km. The drive got me tired, but I saw fantastic night sights and sea views.

And, we had some events. One of them is a study meeting for future demands. I understood what the next stage was and should prepare for it.

Strange smell

I experienced a strange thing. At midnight, an earthquake occurred. A few minutes before the earthquake, I felt a cloudy smell similar to glue. When I felt the smell, I looked for where it came from but didn't find it. Maybe, the smell came from the earthquake. 

People have the ability to detect something before it happens. We have to be careful if we feel something is different from usual. 

A break

 I had to take a break but drank some cups of beer and sake. That made me exhausted. Good night. 

From a teacher

I started to study something of companies with a teacher for economy.

She tell me a lot of how to change mentality. 

I got a lot of messages but the main message is change to be good. For the change, we have to stop all before change.

It's a real.

Knowing difference is

Most people don't mind but any difference is important. 

For example, caramelization and the Maillard reaction are both reactions that brown foods. However, they are different. Caramelization is a word for only a change in sugar. On the other hand, the Maillard reaction is a strange phenomenon that occurs when amino acids such as proteins are heated. They are different reactions. However, many people use the word, Caramelization not to change sugar.

Poop and fart come from the same place, but they're different.

Recognizing a difference is important for living good. 

Beauty

I understood appearance is an important factor when people talk in person. I saw a friend who I did not see but I have talked with text. I expected the friend to be a man but one in the real is not a man. It was very surprised and I got high impact from the atmosphere of the person. Beauty is justice. 

Keeping

I faced an essential problem for days and I kept thinking of a good solution but it wasn't coming soon. Today, I got a trigger of the solution. A good idea comes after keeping thought. 

Maybe false but interesting story

I've heard an interesting talk about intelligence from a friend. According to this talk, adults wearing clothes that don't match their body or seasons tend to have borderline intelligence and the borderline people cannot consider their clothes and environment. That was very interesting. 

Surely, many kids wear clothes that don't match the environment and generally do not have high intelligence. There may be a relationship between intelligence and clothes. 

So, I looked for documents about this; however, no documents were particularly relevant. I wonder if it was just a few people's experiences because some websites and videos said only. That was interesting, but I am not sure if it is real. 

Bicycles

I saw a police officer stop bicycles on the sidewalk in Shibuya. The police officer said bicycles must not run on the sidewalk and people must walk pushing bicycles on the sidewalk. I saw a perfect scene because bicycles running on the sidewalk are dangerous.

Stop the trigger

Life is short. I know that. And, I know social media kills my important time. Also, I have realized video content kills more. Moreover, if I feel a fried brain, the effect is stronger.

But I can't avoid the attack now because I am mentally weak. Even if one content is a short video, recent media show a series of short videos, which makes strong stimulation. 

To protect myself, I need mental strength. As the first step, from now on, I will stop listening to music in the daytime. I am not sure if it's effective or not, but I realized music is one trigger to other contents in social media.

being strong

When I have felt tired, I become more aggressive. If I find a stupid thing or a joke in some media, I normally laugh and feel at peace, but when I'm tired, I often feel like I'm wasting my time and irritated. 

However, smart people don't approach irritated people, so I have to train my humanity so that I don't get irritated even when I'm tired.

Nothing special

I can't remember what I did all day. I wonder if I was sleeping.

Pangasius

I casually bought a fillet of white fish at a supermarket. The front side of the package showed it was just white fish, but didn't show what it was. I thought most of the white fish we could buy at the supermarket were deep-sea fish. I believed it was seafood and bought it. 

But when I had it the first bite, I noticed a difference. It was very tasty but it had a slightly muddy smell, and I felt it was more like a freshwater fish than a sea fish. Since I didn't experience the feeling from the tastes of sea fishes, I was curious about what fish it was, and I looked at the notation on the package. It showed Pangasius. Because I didn't know the name, I searched for the name. It was a catfish from overseas. 

I didn't know a catfish is tasty. That was an interesting happening. Because I don't usually buy fish, it was a rare case. In the rare case, I got excited and I realized I was lucky. Something new brings me luck. Surely, I will buy it again. 

Hurt

When I do something in a different environment, I have to use what I always used, otherwise I won't perform at my best. Today, I couldn't do my best and hurt myself a little.

I will consider this a knowledge and use what I am familiar with in the future.

Lost day

I felt bad yesterday because of too much alcohol and I was not able to work well. Though I do not have enough time to finish an important work by a deadline, drinking makes me lose more time. I will stop drinking more. I know I cannot stop but try it from now. Every challenge is valuable. 

Any challenge becomes an easy task if there is a partner for that. The most difficult point of any challenge is to make the partner. I can do it when I get one. So, by the day, I will give up. 

Morning

If I don't sleep, I can't concentrate. Humans need sleep.

However, I ended up drinking until morning. Very bad. Too tired. 

Verge

I couldn't stop coughing all day. My throat was itchy. That was cold but I thought it was on the verge of recovery judging from this condition. I am taking vitamins and staying up all night to heal and be active. A person on the verge shouldn't sleep.

Less time

I saw a bus stop move to a different place by redevelopment of the city. Because it was the first time, I was surprised. If I were a user who didn't know anything, I would not realize that. 

And when my shoelaces came undone and I tied them, I noticed my shoelaces were dirty. I have to clean them. 

I notice many things when I have less time. 

Not going well is fun

Since the work I have to finish is too heavy, I do not have enough sleeping time. However, I am enjoying this situation. This is fun. And I caught a cold. Everything is not going well, which means this world is still exciting and there are many unexpected things. 

Stimulation

I think the most efficient way to learn algorithms is to read the source code. However, since there are many languages ​​and styles of programming, I feel that the level of difficulty is increasing. So in recent years, I have avoided reading the source code. 

On the other hand, it is difficult to continue avoiding studying. So today I had to touch the code for the noise I wanted to use. 

I thought noise theory was too difficult to understand.

However, once I started reading it, I was able to understand it. Probably, journaling in English and writing programs in various styles affected me. I realized that new stimulation is essential to life.

Not end

Creativity shines brilliantly when the heart is broken. It is good that things don't go well. That is human. 

But, some people blame others for things that don't go well. They are not human, they're nothing. When things go wrong, if we look for the cause, the problem lies somewhere else. The only choice is to look for it in ourselves or others.

I respect people who can break their own hearts. I understood it better today. 

Cleaning room again

I cleaned my room a week ago and it quickly became a mess. So, I cleaned my room today as well. I feel better than before. Cleaning the room is good. The available space in the room becomes larger. It makes me feel better. 

Change

I started working in English. I have to keep the tone flat. Recently, I have been using English more and more often, so my life is changing somehow.

Anyway I drank a lot.

Excuse to run away

I was convinced we should not trust people who claim to have communication problems. Ultimately, it will be an excuse to run away. 

By the way, I didn't achieve my goal in recent years. The reason is simple, just I didn't do that. I made excuses to run away from my goal. Originally, I just would do it. I recognized many reasons. That meant it was possible to avoid the problems. I need to act more seriously to achieve my goal. First, I attempt to get good sleep. 

Sick

I felt sick and got a high fever, so I went to the clinic to find out if it was corona or flu today. Yesterday, I thought only a pollen allergy caused sickness, so I took medicines for the allergy. But, only the sneezing stopped after I took the medicines. My throat hurt and the fever continued. I wondered if it was another possibility. But, the checked results showed neither was the case. It was just cold-sick. Anyway, I felt bad. A gallon of runny nose came out in a day. I would like to be able to produce that much other fluid. 

There was the Jugoya full moon today. After the rain, I looked up at the sky. I remembered something from the past when I looked at the moon. The moon had not changed since then. 

Dead

As a scary experience, I found traces that my accounts on social media were hijacked. My accounts wrote something at DMs during I had not touched them at midnight and daytime. In addition, the messages were deleted and I did not know what the accounts sent. There is a strong possibility of a prank from hacking friends, so I will observe what happens. 

By the way, my pollen allergy started. My nose won't stop running and I'm sneezing too. I am dead. 

Valuable

Two weeks had passed since I started writing in my diary. Before starting the diary, I did not remember what I had done in the day. But, I became more aware of daily events after starting it. I recognized that I had many events in days but I did not have memory for the events. By the recognition, the diary is more valuable for me. 

Today I went to a Japanese Western-style izakaya that serves super delicious hamburgers. The owner chief of the izakaya is an interesting person and seems to really like cooking. And he had a bad tongue, which meant I sometimes could not catch some words he said. 

One friend also likes cooking and has a bad tongue. I thought he was just unique but after I met the above chief, I wondered if cooking is related to tongue speed. Of course, although those are not directly related, when thinking speed in cooking is very fast, the motion of the tongue cannot follow the thinking. If people do that in a long time, there is a possibility to get a bad tongue. Not only cooking, it may be a reason that people who need speed have bad tongue. 

Last train

At midnight, I saw a train I must have taken had left at the station platform because it was the last one. But I did not give up. I believed any trains to stations near my home, so I searched for them. I found another line I do not usually use but there was no way other than it, so I tried it though I did not know about it. As I expected, I took the wrong train. So, I did not reach the goal. The place is Akihabara. In Akihabara, there is a favorite ramen restaurant. So, I ate a donburi of ramen and a chawan of rice. After eating them, finally, I took a taxi. That was a kind of good experience. 

Before I saw the last train, I studied a kind of human communication with the professional team. In the workshop, I learned again that Approval-Seeking People often believe that their stories and opinions are correct and do not doubt them, and tend to hate people having more knowledge. It's very scary, but it's easy to fall into such a situation. All people have a subconscious need for approval. To get approval, we need to continue challenges and study well. I can't do it. Impossible. 

Then, I lost my last train. That's great timing.