When I do something in a different environment, I have to use what I always used, otherwise I won't perform at my best. Today, I couldn't do my best and hurt myself a little.
I will consider this a knowledge and use what I am familiar with in the future.
I felt bad yesterday because of too much alcohol and I was not able to work well. Though I do not have enough time to finish an important work by a deadline, drinking makes me lose more time. I will stop drinking more. I know I cannot stop but try it from now. Every challenge is valuable.
Any challenge becomes an easy task if there is a partner for that. The most difficult point of any challenge is to make the partner. I can do it when I get one. So, by the day, I will give up.
If I don't sleep, I can't concentrate. Humans need sleep.
However, I ended up drinking until morning. Very bad. Too tired.
I couldn't stop coughing all day. My throat was itchy. That was cold but I thought it was on the verge of recovery judging from this condition. I am taking vitamins and staying up all night to heal and be active. A person on the verge shouldn't sleep.
I saw a bus stop move to a different place by redevelopment of the city. Because it was the first time, I was surprised. If I were a user who didn't know anything, I would not realize that.
And when my shoelaces came undone and I tied them, I noticed my shoelaces were dirty. I have to clean them.
I notice many things when I have less time.
Since the work I have to finish is too heavy, I do not have enough sleeping time. However, I am enjoying this situation. This is fun. And I caught a cold. Everything is not going well, which means this world is still exciting and there are many unexpected things.
I think the most efficient way to learn algorithms is to read the source code. However, since there are many languages and styles of programming, I feel that the level of difficulty is increasing. So in recent years, I have avoided reading the source code.
On the other hand, it is difficult to continue avoiding studying. So today I had to touch the code for the noise I wanted to use.
I thought noise theory was too difficult to understand.
However, once I started reading it, I was able to understand it. Probably, journaling in English and writing programs in various styles affected me. I realized that new stimulation is essential to life.
Creativity shines brilliantly when the heart is broken. It is good that things don't go well. That is human.
But, some people blame others for things that don't go well. They are not human, they're nothing. When things go wrong, if we look for the cause, the problem lies somewhere else. The only choice is to look for it in ourselves or others.
I respect people who can break their own hearts. I understood it better today.
I cleaned my room a week ago and it quickly became a mess. So, I cleaned my room today as well. I feel better than before. Cleaning the room is good. The available space in the room becomes larger. It makes me feel better.
I started working in English. I have to keep the tone flat. Recently, I have been using English more and more often, so my life is changing somehow.
Anyway I drank a lot.
I was convinced we should not trust people who claim to have communication problems. Ultimately, it will be an excuse to run away.
By the way, I didn't achieve my goal in recent years. The reason is simple, just I didn't do that. I made excuses to run away from my goal. Originally, I just would do it. I recognized many reasons. That meant it was possible to avoid the problems. I need to act more seriously to achieve my goal. First, I attempt to get good sleep.
I felt sick and got a high fever, so I went to the clinic to find out if it was corona or flu today. Yesterday, I thought only a pollen allergy caused sickness, so I took medicines for the allergy. But, only the sneezing stopped after I took the medicines. My throat hurt and the fever continued. I wondered if it was another possibility. But, the checked results showed neither was the case. It was just cold-sick. Anyway, I felt bad. A gallon of runny nose came out in a day. I would like to be able to produce that much other fluid.
There was the Jugoya full moon today. After the rain, I looked up at the sky. I remembered something from the past when I looked at the moon. The moon had not changed since then.
As a scary experience, I found traces that my accounts on social media were hijacked. My accounts wrote something at DMs during I had not touched them at midnight and daytime. In addition, the messages were deleted and I did not know what the accounts sent. There is a strong possibility of a prank from hacking friends, so I will observe what happens.
By the way, my pollen allergy started. My nose won't stop running and I'm sneezing too. I am dead.
Two weeks had passed since I started writing in my diary. Before starting the diary, I did not remember what I had done in the day. But, I became more aware of daily events after starting it. I recognized that I had many events in days but I did not have memory for the events. By the recognition, the diary is more valuable for me.
Today I went to a Japanese Western-style izakaya that serves super delicious hamburgers. The owner chief of the izakaya is an interesting person and seems to really like cooking. And he had a bad tongue, which meant I sometimes could not catch some words he said.
One friend also likes cooking and has a bad tongue. I thought he was just unique but after I met the above chief, I wondered if cooking is related to tongue speed. Of course, although those are not directly related, when thinking speed in cooking is very fast, the motion of the tongue cannot follow the thinking. If people do that in a long time, there is a possibility to get a bad tongue. Not only cooking, it may be a reason that people who need speed have bad tongue.
At midnight, I saw a train I must have taken had left at the station platform because it was the last one. But I did not give up. I believed any trains to stations near my home, so I searched for them. I found another line I do not usually use but there was no way other than it, so I tried it though I did not know about it. As I expected, I took the wrong train. So, I did not reach the goal. The place is Akihabara. In Akihabara, there is a favorite ramen restaurant. So, I ate a donburi of ramen and a chawan of rice. After eating them, finally, I took a taxi. That was a kind of good experience.
Before I saw the last train, I studied a kind of human communication with the professional team. In the workshop, I learned again that Approval-Seeking People often believe that their stories and opinions are correct and do not doubt them, and tend to hate people having more knowledge. It's very scary, but it's easy to fall into such a situation. All people have a subconscious need for approval. To get approval, we need to continue challenges and study well. I can't do it. Impossible.
Then, I lost my last train. That's great timing.
I have attended several academic or industrial conferences in recent weeks, and I sometimes attended two or more including online in a day. Since I saw many people and talked to them, I got many new topics now.
There is an interesting one. This is about fraud. According to this case, a man is a troublemaker anywhere, disturbing someone by making a false declaration or attacking someone. People who know about him do not talk about him because they do not want others to think related to him. Since no one stops it, some companies employ him with his history including incorrect information. When he starts to work, he starts to cause a lot of trouble immediately because he does not have enough ability. Then the companies decide to stop employing him. But, after he gets fired, he brings a lawsuit soon. Since the companies do not want to be related to him, they pay money to avoid lawsuits.
Though this process is a fraud, employees are strong in Japanese law and no company deals strongly with it. General thinking, he cannot get jobs again. But, in real, he gets jobs and the fraus again.
Honestly, I had heard about other cases like this type before this case. This means some troublemakers cause fraud in many companies. It is unpleasant.
We know that people like him cannot continue the fraud until older. In addition, many people are avoiding this type. Surely this type will die alone. Maybe, to this type, there is no good solution. The best solution might be ignoring it. If we completely ignore it, it attacks us. So, we should stop talking as soon as possible and talk to others.
Well, I think it is better not to get involved with unknown people.
I sent a letter through a post office. When I did it, I noticed a small change. When I sent a letter a few years ago, it took about a day to reach the destination if it was close. But now, it takes about two or more days and the post office does not deliver on holidays. If I had only the old feeling, the letter would not be delivered at the necessary time. I felt the work-life balance was modified to be safe.
I felt everything changed.
As another change, I cannot interact well with people who I do not know. Recently, a girl has been sending me some messages about photos I took through social media. According to the messages, she was interested in Japanese foods and culture, and she sent a contact message because my photos were nice. I was wondering if she was a real human, if she was a real woman, and if she was not crazy. I sometimes replied to her first but now I am ignoring her because it is a hassle. She still sends messages to me while I do not reply.
I was drained and not feeling well because I worked too actively. Though I went to a small party with a friend, I couldn't enjoy it as much as usual. But, that was not only bad thing.
In a few days, many things happened and I got stimulation anywhere. That was good instead of tired. Especially, much stimulation brought me a term of digital detox and an opportunity to recall my fighting spirit. And, I decided a new goal.
Good people bring me good stimulation.
Hi friends, this post got attention in an instant by fans of this blog. I researched where people watch this post with an analytic tool. And then, I was surprised. Many US and Czech people watch it. I have no idea why a lot of people did it because this post only described a good man who makes good effects for me. Maybe he has a supernatural charm, and he got attracted by many people. So, I want to write more details here.
I had a very smart friend. Because of his genius, he naturally caused unexpected events. It was not all good, but I liked his story.
He had a group of friends around him and everything was fascinating. Since he was gentle, he believed that even if a person is super crazy, it will always goes good direction. Many people were helped by this thought. Of course, he had been hit with many terribly unpleasant problems. But, he handled them all with an iron heart. It was difficult to imitate him. I respected him.
However, ever since he got involved with a super crazy person, he met more trouble, including being net-stalker and being attacked with false rumors. Even if it is an iron heart, human is breakable. He was a human. This day was the anniversary of his death. And I suddenly remembered this story on that day. His hobby was going to the morning cabaret. When I saw this morning sky, I suddenly remembered this.
I will be more active in publishing good papers. I was stimulated by a lot of good research.
By the way, I got drunk by bad drinks. I finished drinking.
It was an ordinary day. We had many meetings and the work progressed. It was not an easy day, but it was normal and it meant a good day.
Anyway, when I woke up this morning, I wasn't bitten by insects. I am still cleaning the room where I had slept now, so I slept in another room with the cleaned futon. I noticed that the mites were removed from the futon.
This is a small change, but the change visualize the value of the action.
I went bouldering in a gym for the first time in a while. The trigger is a talk with a friend. When I was drinking with the friend, he mentioned his son had started bouldering. In the talk, I replied that I had been doing it too, and then, we decided to try bouldering together. It was just a few days ago, but he asked me about it today.
We decided to climb the outside wall around noon. The weather forecast said it wouldn't be that too hot, but the reality was different. After sweating outside for about an hour, I felt like giving up. Since it was our first time, we talked about how to start, how to shift my weight, etc., and ended up doing it lightly. Although it was a short time, it was fun to exercise outside.
Through bouldering this time, I understood one problem of feeling. Generally, it is quite difficult to keep trying to challenge something that we stumbled on once and could not solve for a while. I think motivation is a type of confidence. A lack of self-confidence leads to a lack of motivation. And the inability to do anything comes. Then, weak people look for causes other than themselves.
I think the reason why blame-takers are often lacking in ability is because they cannot take on challenges. That's why it's very difficult to try hard and overcome our defeat, but it's also worth it.
My room may have mites or mosquitoes because I got some itchy bites. I wanted to kill them all, so I decided to clean my room. I first washed the futon sheets and the futon. Next, I moved the furniture away and cleaned everything on the floor. I spent 5 hours on them. I sneezed many times because of the dust. I did not finish the cleaning but it was good try for me.
In this morning, I realized that my eyes were not feeling well, including blurred vision and more nearsightedness than before. I thought it was presbyopia, but presbyopia causes farsightedness, so this symptom doesn't match. Anything didn't even bump into my eyes or I have any direct thoughts about it. So, I tried to think more broadly. I assumed that something I have changed recently affects my eyes. The biggest change was the amount of alcohol. I drank so much that my bottom right flank hurts. That is near the liver. I believed the liver could not affect the eyes, but I searched it with Google. Then, I saw it was related. It was written that ``If there is an abnormality in liver function, in addition to eye fatigue, blurred vision, and decreased vision, the whites of the eyes become bloodshot, and wrinkles and dark circles tend to appear around the eyes.'' I thought this was possible, but I'll take it as if I just need a little break.
When I searched it with Google, the search predictions were too annoying, so I decided to initialize my history. I kept my login data and bookmarks, so it's not an inconvenience, and it's much more comfortable because it's less annoying.
I started studying a new topic: accounting treatment. Today I attended a conference about this. Though any new study makes me tired, complex tax studies were more than others. But this study is useful anytime, anywhere. In addition, through this study, I understood why companies make us do complicated payment processes as our own work. That is reasonable.
As another topic, I read all of My Home Hero, which is manga. The ending is unclear. Readers cannot read what Tetsuo will be sentenced. In the end, there are pros and cons but I didn't think it was bad. I think Tetsuo was sentenced to death. And, Kasen became crazy or something like that. So, only the son appears the last. Anyway, we do not know what happened in the story because it is a manga. The story was very sad but its flow was perfect for me.
In the morning, I pulled weeds with my neighbors because in recent days the weeds were rotten, and the color of the weeds had changed to brown. The appearance was not good. So, I was glad it became clean. But I got bitten by a lot of insects. It's itchy all the time. I need to give up to get good something.
As another topic, on my way home, I happened to meet the owner and his wife of the store where I often buy alcohol. Looks like he was on his way home from drinking. It was fresh to me because I had never seen that couple drinking outside. Next time I visit, I think I'll ask what they drink at the restaurant.
It is hard to write a page like a diary at the end of the day because I am sleepy and remembering many is impossible. When something happens, I need a memo to keep the memory.
At noon, I went for a dental checkup. There were no problems in my mouth, but a change will happen. The dental hygienist who I get checked every time will be moved to another store. I know changing anything is an opportunity to see a new one. Maybe, it is a timing of something.
As another topic, I heard the Japanese word "一億総白痴化" which means TV shows make all Japanese idiots. When I heard the word, I remembered Japanese TV shows are funnier than those in other countries. The funny contents take away the watchers' time. Taking time away kills time to study anything. Killing study time makes idiots. Surely now it does not result in only Japanese TV shows. All videos watched through smartphones have the same effect. The videos do not give the user time to do anything or think something. Probably, reading books or web pages is different because it is not only about receiving anything but catching characters on the page by readers. In other words, readers need to do the action by themselves when reading books or web pages. Writing is also different from watching videos. Anyway, I try to keep time to think about something.
Today I had some interesting experiences from the morning, but I forgot the experience. My memory is limited. All of my memories are from noon.
At lunch, I went to a Chinese restaurant I had never been to. The restaurant was scored by many people in Google Maps and the average score was good. Since I believed the score, I chose it. The waiting time was short, and the taste of the dishes was not bad. That's good. But, that's not surprising. Then I realize an important thing. I want a feeling of adventure even if it is lunch. I should not determine lunch by the score because it is the same as giving up on adventure. From today, I keep going for lunch with a feeling of adventure.
So, I went to another Chinese restaurant I had never been to in the evening. I only know the name of the restaurant but I did not know the evaluation. The situation is like an adventurer only knows the entrance to the cave and has never entered it. That was really adventure.
But, it was closed.
So I ended up going to a nearby Soba restaurant I had never been to. That was also an adventure. I turned cash into a new experience. Then I won. The food and drinks were very good. I want this type of experience more. I want a friend to go out to restaurants with.
I've come to realize that I have a tendency to indulge in the path of least resistance, especially when I'm not being observed.
To keep myself motivated, I often observe others through various media platforms, with social media being my most frequent choice. However, these platforms are designed to consume our time, providing fleeting, intense stimulations that often lead to wastefulness. Without a strong sense of self-discipline, I find myself using them excessively. By the time I realize I've overindulged, the day has ended, and I've accomplished little.
I've noticed a decline in my resilience recently. My energy levels, which were never high to begin with, seem to be declining. I recognize the need to address this issue. As a first step, I plan to start maintaining a diary, where I can reflect honestly on my daily activities. While I've been jotting down random thoughts on this blog, I intend to take my writing more seriously for at least the next two weeks.
On another note, I've realized having a milk allergy. This allergy seems to have resulted from an overconsumption of dairy products. So, I've decided to eliminate dairy from my diet. By doing so, I believe my immune system will have a chance to recover. However, if I consume any form of dairy, like cheese, before my immune system has fully recovered, it reacts immediately.
To manage this, I've avoided dairy completely for a month. But, I recently had a slip-up when I unknowingly ate a hamburger with a small piece of cheese. Luckily, my allergy reaction was not as severe as I had expected. This gives me hope that my allergy might be subsiding.
